Chapter 21

Illness

01 Miss Linton wandered round the park, always silent and almost always in tears. Her brother shut himself up among books that he never opened, in the faint but continuing hope that Catherine would regret her behaviour and ask pardon. She went on refusing food, with the idea that her absence from the meal table would bring Edgar to her feet. Meanwhile, I went on with my duties as usual, believing that I was the only sensible person in the house.

02 At last, on the third day, or rather, late in the evening, Mrs Linton, looking pale and weary, unbarred her door, and asked for food and water, as she believed she was dying. I brought her tea and bread and butter, which she took eagerly.

03 'What is that dull being doing?' she demanded.

04 'If you mean Mr Linton,' I replied, 'he's fairly well. He is continually among his books.'

05 I should not have spoken so, if I had known her true condition, but I could not get rid of the idea that she was acting a part of her illness.

06 'Among his books!' she cried, 'and I am near the grave! Oh, does he know how changed I am?' She stared at her face in a mirror hanging on the opposite wall.

07 'If I were only sure it would kill him,' she went on, I'd kill myself directly.'

08 She could not bear the thought that I had put into her head, of Edgar's quiet lack of interest. Throwing herself from side to side, she became feverish, then, raising herself up all burning, demanded that I should open the window. It was the middle of the winter, and I objected. The expression on her face began to alarm me terribly. It reminded me of her former illness, and of the doctor's warning that no one should go against her wishes. She had just torn the pillow with her teeth, and now she seemed to find childish pleasure in pulling the feathers from the holes that she had made, and recognizing the birds from which they had come.

09 'Lie down and shut your eyes,' I said. 'A sleep would do you good.'

10 'Oh, I wish I were a girl again! If only I were in my bed in my old home!' she cried. 'And the wind sounding through the trees near the window! Do let me feel it—it comes straight from the moor!'

11 To please her, I held the window open for a few seconds. An icy wind rushed through. I closed the window again.

12 'How long is it since I shut myself up here?' she asked suddenly.

13 'Four nights and three days,' I replied. 'Long enough to live on cold water and bad temper.'

14 'It seems a weary number of hours. I remember being in the sitting room after they had quarrelled, and running upstairs. As soon as I barred the door, complete blackness came over me. I couldn't explain to Edgar how certain I felt of having a fit if he went on annoying me. Open the window wide again,' she commanded. 'You won't give me a chance of life. Very well, I'll do it myself.'

15 Sliding from the bed before I could stop her, she crossed the room very unsteadily, and threw open the window, careless of the air, which cut like a knife. I begged, and at last tried to force her to go back to bed, but her feverish strength resisted mine.

16 I was planning how to reach something to wrap around her, without letting go my hold of her, when I heard the turning of the door handle, and Mr Linton entered.

17 'Oh, sir!' I cried, making signs to him to keep back the exclamation that arose to his lips at the sight that met him. 'My poor mistress is ill, and I can't manage her at all. Please, come and persuade her to go to bed.'

18 'Catherine ill!' he said, hastening to us. 'Shut the window, Ellen!'

19 He was silent, alarmed by the change in Mrs Linton's appearance. I murmured something about not having known of her condition before, but I felt that I gave my explanations awkwardly. My master looked displeased and took his wife in his arms. At first she made no sign of recognition, but by degrees she fixed her attention on him.

20 'Ah! you've come, have you, Edgar Linton,' she said in an angry voice. 'You are one of the things that are never found when they are wanted. You'll be sorry when I'm in my grave, where I'm going before spring is over!'

21 'Catherine! Am I nothing to you any more? Do you love that miserable Heath ... '

22 'If you mention that name, I'll end the matter instantly by a leap from this window! Return to your books. I don't want you now.'

23 'Her mind wanders, sir,' I said. 'She has been talking nonsense the whole evening. We must be careful in future not to annoy her.'

24 'I want no further advice from you,' answered Mr Linton. 'You knew your mistress's nature, and you encouraged me to go against her. And not to give me any idea of how she has been all these three days! It was heartless!'

25 I began to defend myself, thinking it too bad to be blamed for the faults of another. Then, determined to go for medical help on my own responsibility, I left the room.